BICYCLING IN A BORDER TOWN
Well, my doctor told me that my body was shot,
I was drinkin' my liver right into a knot.
He said, "now boy, I'm tellin' you straight,
get a little exercise, lose a little weight."
Hey, I'm not a guy who won't take a chance,
I'm a real good flyer by the seat of my pants.
So I ditched my Buick beside the road
and pedaled on down into Mexico.... but
When you go bicycling in a border town
Don't forget to lock your bicycle down.
Don't drink the water, don't eat the food,
tell the señoritas you ain't in the mood.
I've got a friend name of Buffalo Bill;
his wife won't do it but his buffalo will.
He's so good at temptin' the hand of fate,
he says, "I love mankind, man, it's people I hate."
Well, he finally figgured out you can't cheat death,
so now he's eatin' organic, man, he's watchin' his health.
He used to ride the prairie on a coal-black steed,
now he's cruisin' Acuña on a new ten-speed.
Now, you can listen to the doctor, listen to the priest,
you can listen to the captain while he's carvin' the beast,
but no matter what you do, no matter what you say,
you're still gonna have the devil to pay...
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